[There's so much he wants to tell her. That he holds nothing against her being angry with him. That he's frightened too. That he has no idea what to do. But his voice only allows him a weak murmur]
M'sorry, Julie. I'm sorry.
[He is. For so many things. For putting Julie in danger. And Hayden. And Margaery. For not being able to help anybody. Not able to protect Michael or Harlan. Not much help to Seel at the bunker now that his sight is gone. He can only be the bearer of bad news, having had to tell Kyna that her best friend had been killed.
And then selfishly he has put Julie in danger again by asking her to come here out of his own selfishness.
James had been right about him after all. "Delmar you have no idea what you are talking about." "You should know better after everything you've been through in your life" "You are nothing but a lousy queer"]
It's okay. [It's not okay, but she can let it be okay, for now. Her hold on him loosens but doesn't drop, and she turns her head to rest it against his shoulder instead. She moves one arm to take his hand in hers, squeezing his fingers again.
Her next breath leaves her slowly, and she lets her eyes close for a moment.]
I've never been something anybody was afraid of losing before [His breaths are coming a bit more steadily now, though his cheeks are still damp, tears now coming in silent dribbling from the corners of his eyes.] I'm still not very good at it at all.
[He leans his head over to the side where it can rest lightly atop hers]
You're just going to have to get used to it. [Julie retorts with a soft, breathless laugh. She shifts to look at him, then plants a quick kiss against his cheek.]
I've spent my whole life losing people. I'm not going to lose you, too.
[Despite everything, Delmar still flushes a deep pink when she kisses his cheek. These small everyday affections between friends he's been starved of his whole life so each time his hand is taken or someone sits beside him without hesitation it feels like a monumental occurrence. So a hug or a kiss to the cheek seem like small cherished miracles.]
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redwinekindofgirl) wrote2017-10-17 07:58 pm
no subject
M'sorry, Julie. I'm sorry.
[He is. For so many things. For putting Julie in danger. And Hayden. And Margaery. For not being able to help anybody. Not able to protect Michael or Harlan. Not much help to Seel at the bunker now that his sight is gone. He can only be the bearer of bad news, having had to tell Kyna that her best friend had been killed.
And then selfishly he has put Julie in danger again by asking her to come here out of his own selfishness.
James had been right about him after all. "Delmar you have no idea what you are talking about." "You should know better after everything you've been through in your life" "You are nothing but a lousy queer"]
no subject
Her next breath leaves her slowly, and she lets her eyes close for a moment.]
It's okay, Delmar. Honestly.
no subject
I've never been something anybody was afraid of losing before [His breaths are coming a bit more steadily now, though his cheeks are still damp, tears now coming in silent dribbling from the corners of his eyes.] I'm still not very good at it at all.
[He leans his head over to the side where it can rest lightly atop hers]
no subject
I've spent my whole life losing people. I'm not going to lose you, too.
no subject
No you are not.
[He gives her hand a squeeze]
And I don't want to ever lose you either.